Morning Madness

Standing in the shower has always left my mind free to wander. Sometimes I think about a dream I had, sometimes a song is stuck in my head, most mornings I think about what I have to do that day. Well today annoyed me.

As I stood washing my hair I realized how much I didn't feel like washing my hair. Then of course, knowing I would have to condition next unless I wanted an intricate web of tangles, I felt even more agitated at the never ending process of it all. I mean, how often have you ever stopped and considered your morning routine for what it really is- a maddening time consuming attempt to make you feel better about yourself even though you know in the end, it isn't going to solve all your insecurities anyway.

For example... when I shower there are many steps involved. First, I must comb my hair thus avoiding tangles in the shower and hair in the drain trap. Second, the wash. OK, simple enough. Then there is the condition, which must sit for two minutes at the very least. Now we have the face scrub, the body scrub and the special foot scrubber because who doesn't want cute pedi's all summer. Now I'm going to avoid the hairy situation of shaving- ladies I don't even need to go there because you all know what a pain this is. As for me, I also brush my teeth in the shower- saving water here... Finally, I can step out of the shower after using shampoo, conditioner, soap, body wash, body scrub, acne face scrub and shaving cream. Phew!

No wait, still not ready. After toweling off comes the body lotion. Taking two minutes to apply, I then must rewash my hands so that I can use a different lotion for my feet and hands. Then I must use another topical lotion rinse for my face, followed by yet two more lotions including SPF. Oh my God! How much stuff do I really need to use! Did I even mention mouth wash or floss- OK I'll admit it here, I gave up on both the minute my braces came off. I finally can dress and sigh a little before I realize I'm still not ready.

Back to the hair. Detangler spray, my hair is super thick and wavy, anti-frizz for the summer humidity, comb it though, blow dry, brush, dry some more perhaps, should I straighten it today? (I think you see my point.) These steps require more product and appliances and another 30 minutes at least. My hats' off to you ladies who can do these things and somehow make it out of the door in the morning. After the hair is done, hopefully I am satisfied with my outfit, I'm done. Hasta luego. Oh wait- is that a chip in my nail polish?