The Back Forty

I’ve come to the conclusion that people just can’t be bothered to park their own cars anymore. With valet parking available virtually everywhere, who needs to park? No more circling like a vulture for a front row space and if you can recall an irate Evelyn Couch in Fried Green Tomatoes, it’s no wonder that more places from malls to YMCA’s are offering the service. I dare ask though, are American’s becoming lazy and down right spoiled?

I remember summers with my mom and her parking lot strategy. She always parked in “the back forty” and happily chirped about how she enjoyed walking as my brother and I shuffled our feet and grumbled across the lot. It didn’t matter if it was raining cats and dogs, or if there were a million open spaces in the first and second rows. We always managed to be the lone car in the back of the lot, usually next to a curb or a pole. I’d like to say that parking far away was a miniature lesson for my brother and me, about something deeper, like the importance of exercise or saving the front spots for expecting mothers. I’d like to say that. Looking back now I think that maybe the real reason was anxiety associated with parking.

How many times can I remember pulling into an ill-fated spot with my father’s Crown Victoria. The uncertainty looming before me, will my hood scrape along the side of that car? It’s like peering over the starboard side of The Titanic and watching hesitantly for the moment of impact with the iceberg. Then there’s the fact that generally speaking, parents with car loads of children park as close as possible, creating scary scenario number two. While backing up out of a spot, watching cautiously the bow of the car for impact, I fail to see the child run across the stern.

These anxieties might lead one to park in some remote spot in the lot or to turn to valet. Although it may be a sign of a deadly sin, there are advantages to allowing someone else to park for you.

For starters, there’s the problem of having too much stuff to carry. It’s one thing to tote one’s bag or pocket book, lap top even. But it is another to have the bag, the lap top, the diaper bag, the book bag, the report for work, the lunch bag and- did we forget the kid? Valet parking allows us to dump, dump, and dump at the curb and “forget-about-it.” Curb side service also makes us feel like royalty I suppose.

Some men are still chivalrous. Some men drop their wives off at the front door. For most of us, no-one is going to be dropping us off at the door. For those majority of us, isn’t it nice to have the red-carpet treatment once in awhile?

So while I speculate on the impending disease of lazy to strike Americans, I can’t help but support valet parking. Kathy Bates captures it well as Evelyn Couch; the furry of being ousted out of “our spot”. “Hello! My blinker was on!” Let’s save some car scratches. Hell, let’s save our blood pressure. Let’s let someone park for us once in awhile-occasionally.

Deserve what you want

It's another boy. I am so very happy! We have picked out the name Noah James. I have also decided that this will be it for me. I think that two boys will be enough to raise and although I thought I would be disappointed if I didn't have one of each, I continue to hold with my feelings about everything happening for a reason. I think as I look ahead now that two boys are exactly what I want. Which brings me to the title of my post today, deserve what you want.

I was reading an article or a blog, these things are becoming confusing with the increasing number of blogs out there, and read that you deserve what you want. I was doing some soul searching, not for any particular reason other than being pregnant and emotional and faced with the fact I am bringing another life into the world, and came across this obvious yet meaningful mantra. Deserve What You Want.

After deep consideration of this I have come to conclude that there are two likely explanations for this school of thought. The first is that we all deserve, in some manner of speaking, what we want simply because every man is free to follow his own happiness and to pursue those things that bring joy and elation to life. Whose to tell us we don't deserve the nice home with picket fence anyway? My second explanation is to deserve what we want, we have to work hard for it and earn it. This one is more logical to me because I came from a home where nothing was ever handed to me, I had to work and earn, but more importantly I had to appreciate.

I will never forget the one time my father accused my brother and myself of being ingrates. I had to go to the bookshelf and pull out the dictionary to look up the word. Was it really an accusation or was there some truth to it? I remember being insulted when I discovered the meaning and thinking to myself "I am too grateful." At the time, I probably wasn't. I was probably caught up in the I want everything my friends have and they didn't work for it, whoa is me stage in my life. Needless to say, the truth hit home and caused me to reflect and make some changes. I learned more from hearing the anger and disappointment in my father's voice that day then I ever did at church on the subject of being thankful for what I have. And now when I catch myself thinking, wouldn't it be nice if I had this or that, I reflect on what I do have and am grateful. And if, if, it is something I really want, I work hard for it, earn and appreciate it. I deserve it.

I guess there isn't really a correct way of looking at my new mantra. Allowing it to set in and cause reflection is enough. Deserve what you want, I guess it should be laced with and find a way to get it.