What 2013 has taught me, personal growth

Flipping through pages of my old agenda and examining week to week where I have been is an unspoken tradition of mine devoted to these last few days of December every year. A lot of what I see is irrelevant day to day stuff; don't forget this item, pay this bill today, the kids have an appointment on this day. A good deal of what is written are days worth celebrating; birthdays, holidays, engagements and weddings. Some of what I see are milestones; we bought a house and Audrey began walking. There are plenty of blank days in there too, days that I worked I suppose, or maybe I hung around the house and watched movies and played games. Maybe they were days that were spent doing the mundane, laundry and cleaning. No matter, what I see if I look at my agenda as a whole was a year that I lived that I won't get back again. So as I look ahead to the new year I want to first reflect on this one that has just passed and all that I have learned living it.

1. Be Thankful.  I have learned how fortunate I am, this year especially. I have three beautiful, healthy and happy children who are an absolute pleasure to be around. I managed to buy a home, a real home of my own. I am now a proud dog owner, my cat would disagree with me here but I remind her daily she just needs to give it time. I have a fun job that I truly enjoy and work with some pretty cool and talented people that I am also lucky enough to call my friends. I have a huge (and growing) extended family whom I can call on for love and support whenever I need. I have a new Derby family of friends that support me as well. I am thankful that I have lived another year and get to embark on another. I know time is short and I don't know when my own will run out so I am thankful each day that I wake up and have just a little bit more. 

2. Who you are is enough. This has been a particularly tough lesson for me. I worry too much about what other people think of me, my home, my family, and have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what other people think, it matters what I think. I have lost so much time, energy and tears this last year worrying that I'm not mom enough, sister enough, daughter enough, friend enough for people and wishing I was someone other than myself. Instead of trying to always do and be more, I have learned to be who I am and let the good, uplifting people in and that it is not only OK, but necessary for me to shut the negative people out.

3. I've learned that sometimes my best just won't be enough, but that doesn't make me a failure. (See item 2)

4. I've learned that people can surprise you in both positive and negative ways. This was a reoccurring theme for me this past year. I know that it surrounded me to teach me a lesson and what I took away was this, sometimes it isn't really about me at all, it's them. I have a terrible habit of blaming myself when things go wrong, sure sometimes I deserve it or at least a portion of it, but this year I have seen many instances when I didn't deserve it at all and yet I took it on. I am risk adverse and also hate confrontation so for me I needed to learn that it is important to stand my ground and that, that doesn't make me a bad person, just one with feelings that need to be handled with the same care that I handle others.

5. I've learned that I have to choose to be happy. Bad things happen to good people. This year I chose to make a conscience effort that when those bad things happened I wouldn't dwell on them or complain ceaselessly about them either. I accepted them, talked them out if needed and then moved on. I'm a whole lot happier for having done so and am going to continue this in the new year and work even harder at it.

I realize I could go on but I think five is a tidy little list. I encourage you to make a list of five things you have learned,  five things you are thankful for, or perhaps five themes from your past year.

I'm inviting you to spend a little time reflecting on all you have learned and all you have lived. Of course I think it is healthy that you and I focus on areas that need improvement, or change, but I hope we never forget that we just lived through another twelve months and that counts for something too. 

OH! And one last thing...

6. Remember to show love.