The Secret Baby

Last night I had another dream about the sex of my baby... this time it was a boy. Way back now, before I got pregnant I had a dream that I was having a "secret" baby. I was pregnant and no-one seemed to know about it, not even my fiance'. I gave birth privately in my bedroom, alone, and came out as fresh as a daisy with a baby girl wrapped up in my arms. Now that I am about 17 weeks pregnant, sex has been on my mind.

I am hoping for a girl naturally as I already have a 28 month-old son. I am certain that I have taken every gender predictor test online that exists . I have had the old-wives tell me it's a girl because I don't like the heel of my bread, news flash!, I have NEVER liked the heel of the damn bread. I have answered every ridiculous question about how high I am carrying, compared to what I might ask, fibbed about how much extra weight I was actually acquiring in my butt and how bad my face has actually broken out. Most of the time, a girl is on her way, but because I have cold feet and fancy my tummy to look more basketball in shape than watermelon- it could be a boy.

I have gone so far as to try, being the operative word here, to teach myself radiology. Looking at every ultrasound picture I can come across, I make guesses at if it's a boy or a girl, needless to say, I really don't know what I am doing. The only helpful piece in this new adventure is that a baby girl has something with "three tell-tale lines."

I went for an ultrasound back at 10 weeks gestation and of course there is no way to tell if I am looking at my son or my daughter. In one picture I see a head, a protruding belly and curled up feet; in another, I say this with nothing but love and affection, a little gummy bear. I am going for the ultrasound that should reveal the secret in just over a week. I am so anxious. This baby is the make or break baby.

What do I mean by make or break... here we go. My step-sister had her first son when she was 19, Jacob the first grandson for our Brady Bunch family. At 21 Tammy had her second son, Owen, grandson number two. Then a funny sort-of thing happened. Tammy and me, the baby, got pregnant at the same time. I had my son Lucas at 20 and Tammy had her third son, Cameron a week later at 24, we are now up to four grandsons. We two only account for 2/5's of the Brady clan children. Jerry the eldest, Terry next in line, Tammy you have already heard of, C.J my biological brother and myself make up the whole gang.

So... we have the four grandchildren, all boys, and a year later, Jerry and his wife produce a son, Terry II. Until now, with my pregnancy, our family had tapped out at five grandsons with the hope that maybe Terry and his wife would have a daughter. They aren't ready for children yet and neither is my brother C.J. Now that I am pregnant with my second child, the pressure is on.

I'll be happy either way- truthfully. But, I couldn't be happier than if I were the first to make a cheerleader amongst our football team. Plus, although I am only 22, I am hoping that I get my daughter so that I can have one of each and retire a victor. Make or Break is a lot clearer now isn't it.

If it's not a girl will I try again- I don't know. Maybe down the road, but I am in this place in my life where I am finishing school, getting a career started and am ready to see where my road is going to take me and does that road have more diapers later on... I hope not. Anyone and everyone who knows me will tell you that I do things backwards, so while all my friends will be ready to have children, I am hoping to be taking vacations. It's cool to know I will be 38 at my son's graduation.

I keep telling myself it is only a week and three days and then I will know. Of course, my phone will be buzzing to life with texts and voice mails inquiring is it? is it? I thought for a little that I would keep it a secret and drive everyone crazy, but who am I kidding anyway. If it is a she, I will be bragging to everyone. So instead, Steve and I have decided to keep the name a secret, at least no-one can harass us to much on that!